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Smart Solutions in Overcoming Family Conflict: The
Wahdatul'ulum Approach
Indah Widya Jaya Putri Nasution
a,1
, M Agil Febrian
b,2
, Predi Ari Repi
c,3
, Putri Halimaini K
d,4
,
Siti Qomariah
e,5
, Zaini Dahlan
f,6
a,b,c,d,e,f
North Sumatra State Islamic University, Medan, Indonesia
1
indah0331234025@uinsu.ac.id;
2
agil0331234006@uinsu.ac.id;
3
4
putri0331234017@uinsu.ac.id;
5
6
ARTICLE INFO
ABSTRACT
Article History:
Accepted: 17 March 2024
Revised: 30 April 2024
Approved: 17 June 2024
Available Online: 1 July 2024
Family conflict can occur at any time and is difficult to avoid due to a lack of
understanding, communication, patience and acceptance of individual
differences, resulting in conflict within the family. Therefore, the aim of this
research is to find out how to solve family conflicts using the wahdatul 'ulum
approach, which is a concept of scientific integration that unites religious
knowledge and general science. This research uses qualitative research, data
collection was carried out by interviews in one of the villages in Tamiang
Hulu sub-district, Aceh Tamiang district. The results of this research are that
family conflicts can be resolved using a transdisciplinary approach so as to
create a holistic approach, which includes spiritual, emotional, rational
aspects and Al-Qur'an counseling which is an effective solution in solving
problems.
Keywords:
Wahdatul 'Ulum
Family Conflict
Smart solution
©2024, Indah Widya Jaya Putri Nasution, M Agil Febrian, Predi Ari Repi,
Putri Halimaini K, Siti Qomariah, Zaini Dahlan
This is an open access article under CC BY -SA license
1. Introduction
In the context of family life, conflict is an unavoidable phenomenon. Various types of
family conflicts, ranging from communication problems, differences in views, to value conflicts,
can affect household harmony and stability (Goleman 1995). In Indonesia, which has cultural
and religious diversity, conflict resolution approaches often require a deep understanding of the
values held by each family member (Ma'ruf 2018).
Conflicts in the household result from various kinds of problems that occur between
husband and wife. Problems in the household that usually trigger conflict usually occur due to
an imbalance in meeting important household needs. And if this need cannot be met, often the
attitude of one of the partners will always end in negative, thus creating conflict within the
household (Cherni 2019: 214). Family economic difficulties are a source of triggers for various
conflicts in relationships between husband and wife. Instead of looking for alternative ways or
trying to find solutions to these difficulties or strengthening togetherness to find a way out. But
instead a reactive and emotional attitude makes the problem even more complicated and difficult.
In the time that has passed in a marital relationship, gaps will arise resulting from
differences in income levels between husband and wife. This gap appears when in the middle of
the marriage period there begins to be a slight decline in the relationship. This is a result of the
absence of effective communication to find a solution to the emergence of conflict which could
later be prolonged. According to Gerungan, quoted in Walgito (Walgito 2002), income issues
are the problem that triggers the biggest conflict which generally occurs in married couples in
their domestic life. It is normal for a husband to earn more than his wife. If the opposite happens,
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problems can arise, the husband feels inferior because his income is not appreciated, while the
wife feels superior and becomes arrogant and does not respect her husband.
Based on preliminary data that I found in one of the villages in Tamiang Hulu subdistrict,
Aceh Tamiang district, which targeted 3 families, information was obtained that the three of
them were experiencing problems in their households. Firstly, Mrs. Safridayani's partner has
been in the household for 6 years, but after running the household there are problems that occur,
namely the problem of taking care of the children. Second , the couple, Mrs. Nastitie Eka Seplija,
has been in a household for 10 years, but there are problems that occur, namely regarding
differences in understanding about the vision and mission for life in the future, especially
regarding children's education. Third, Mrs. Marfuah's couple had been married for 10 years, but
there was a conflict about poor family financial issues where the wife worked more than the
husband, this caused the conflict to not be resolved and ended in divorce.
If we pay attention to the conflicts that occur in the three households, they are caused by
a lack of effective communication between husband and wife when both are busy working, as
well as a lack of knowledge and patience applied in their households. Therefore, here the
researcher offers a smart solution to overcome this conflict, namely the wahdatul 'ulum approach.
Wahdatul 'Ulum, as a science integration concept that unites religious knowledge and general
science, offers a holistic approach in resolving family conflicts (Syarif 2016). This concept,
which is often implemented in Islamic educational institutions, plays an important role in
forming the character of individuals who are able to think comprehensively and integratively
(Hasan 2014). Wahdatul 'Ulum emphasizes the importance of harmony between spiritual and
rational values in everyday life. In a family context, this principle can be applied to help family
members understand differences and find solutions that are not only logical but also ethical and
spiritual. By prioritizing values such as justice, patience and wisdom, Wahdatul 'Ulum can
become the basis for building better communication and creating a harmonious environment in
the family (Nata 2019).
Wahdatul 'Ulum's approach also includes character education which emphasizes the
development of noble morals. Through teaching holistic Islamic values (Zaki et al., 2022), family
members are taught to respect differences and resolve conflicts in a constructive way (Munir
2015). This is very relevant considering the many cases of family conflict caused by a lack of
understanding and acceptance of individual differences. However, the implementation of
Wahdatul 'Ulum in overcoming family conflicts still faces various challenges. One of them is
how this concept can be integrated effectively in diverse and dynamic family life (Akmalia,
2019). Apart from that, the role of educational institutions, religious leaders and communities in
promoting and implementing this concept is also very crucial (Siahaan, Akmalia, et al., 2023).
Therefore, this research will further examine how the role of Wahdatul Ulum can be applied in
overcoming family conflict, as well as explore strategies and methods that can be used to
maximize the effectiveness of this approach. Thus, it is hoped that the results of this research can
make a real contribution to efforts to improve family harmony and welfare in Indonesia.
2. Method
This research uses a qualitative approach. According to Sugiyono, the qualitative research
method is a method used to examine the object under study by carrying out various data
collections, and completing it down to its roots (Sugiyono 2019: 25). This research was
conducted in one of the villages in Tamiang Hulu subdistrict, Aceh Tamiang district, where this
research focused on solutions to overcome family conflicts using the wahdatul'ulum approach.
The data collection technique used was interviews. The presentation of the research results will
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start with the researcher analyzing what conflicts occur in the household and what solutions are
carried out, and this is obtained by the researcher through interviews and analyzing the data in
detail. Primary data in this research was obtained through interviews, and secondary data in this
research was obtained from journals, books and articles that discuss solutions to overcoming
family conflicts using the wahdatul'ulum approach. The data analysis technique used in this
research is summarizing or reducing the data, presenting the data in narrative form so that it is
easy to understand and then drawing conclusions (Moleong, 2016).
3. Results and Discussion
Understanding Wahdatul 'Ulum
Etymologically, Wahdatal-'Ulum comes from the words "wahdat" which means one and
'ulum " which means sciences, the plural of the word 'ilm . The concept of wahdat (unity) al-
'ulum basically cannot be separated from the concept of wahdat al-wujud, because
epistemologically, existence in the sense of something discovered is the source of knowledge.
Imam Al-Ghazali believes that knowledge is knowing something according to the thing itself.
This means that knowledge is the knowledge that a person has about an object or the knowledge
itself correctly. The truth contained in this knowledge is correspondence, due to the
correspondence between the subject's knowledge and the objective conditions of the known
object. There are two ways to know an object that is known correctly, namely; First , through
observations that the subject makes of the object. Second , through the process of information
obtained from the Almighty (Allah) either directly or through the intermediary of messengers
and servants of Allah SWT. According to Parluhutan, wahdatul 'ulum is the totality of knowledge
that has joined in a harmonious network in a unit that is related and complementary. The
knowledge that has been integrated is not only between science and religious knowledge, but
includes all knowledge, starting from spiritual knowledge, religion, ethics, social, cultural,
humanities, science, philosophy, to applied knowledge. (Ritonga 2022).
According to Saidurrahman, the meaning of wahdatul'ulum is that in fact all knowledge,
both general and religious, comes from Allah SWT and is given to all humans so that they can
be taught and applied (Syahrin Harahap 2019). The conclusion from the explanation above is
that Wahdatul 'Ulum is an idea that combines religious knowledge and general knowledge into
one interrelated whole. All knowledge comes from Allah SWT and is given to humans to study
and apply so that they are closer to Him. In contrast to the Western approach which tends to
differentiate scientific disciplines, this approach emphasizes the importance of integration and
synergy between various scientific disciplines. Therefore, Wahdatul 'Ulum strives to realize a
complete and consistent understanding of knowledge.
Understanding Family Conflict
The term conflict comes from the Latin verb, confligere, which means to clash with each
other or all forms of collision, incompatibility, incompatibility, conflict, fighting, opposition and
antagonistic or conflicting interactions. This word was absorbed into English to become conflict,
which means a fight, a collision, a struggle, a controversy, an opposition of interest, opinions of
purposes (Asy'ari 2017). The definition of conflict in the General Indonesian Dictionary is
disagreement or dispute. According to Winardi, conflict arises when the goals, points of view,
or feelings of oneself or another person cannot be reconciled and can lead to hostility or hostile
relationships (Dhini and Sulfinadia 2020).
Conflict is also called a relationship between two or more parties (individuals or groups)
with different goals or interests. Individuals or groups usually initiate conflict due to
incompatibility or disagreement about the goals to be met. Clinton defined conflict as an
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adversarial psychological relationship involving unequal goals, antagonistic emotional attitudes,
and different value systems. Conflict behavior can take the form of open opposition and other
extreme attitudes, as well as subtle, covert, controlled and indirect forms of resistance (Dhini and
Sulfinadia 2020). According to Sadarjoen, marital conflict is defined as a dispute between a
husband and wife that materially affects or affects the relationship between both parties.
Sadarjoen continued that this conflict occurred because of differences in viewpoints and
expectations, and was strengthened by the reality of their origins, needs and values when they
decided to get married (Susilowati and Susanto 2021).
Causes of Family Conflict
In general, the causes of conflict in the family can be simplified as follows:
1. Value Conflict. Disagreements about values are a major source of conflict. Values are
something that underlies every human being in thinking, feeling and behaving; values are
their moral compass. This category includes disputes arising from differences in beliefs,
both external and internal, ranging from realistic to abstract mistrust.
2. Lack of Communication. We cannot take interpersonal communication for granted
because poor communication can result in misunderstandings between two or more
parties, which can lead to conflict. A communication gap arises when two people are
unable to express their ideas, emotions, and behavior to each other. Situations like this
can result in conflict.
3. Ineffective leadership (Muhammadiyah and West 2023) Effective leadership is
leadership that is democratic, fair and firm. However, finding the perfect leader is not
easy. Ineffective leadership often leads to conflict within a community or organization.
Family members who experience ineffective leadership will be "easily influenced",
which leads to conflict in subsequent actions.
4. Role Mismatch. This kind of conflict can occur anytime and anywhere. Role
incompatibility occurs because two parties perceive very differently their respective
roles.
5. Low Productivity. Conflict often occurs because the output and output of two or more
parties who are related to each other do not or do not benefit from the relationship.
Therefore, prejudice arises between them. Economic disparities between community
groups are included in this conflict. (Imron and Bagus 2019)
6. Balance Change. A shift in the family balance is the cause of this discord. Social and
natural causes can be the reason. Seventh is a dispute or problem that has not been
resolved. In society, unresolved problems from the past cause a lot of disputes. This is
like a fire in the chaff which can ignite at any time because there is no process of forgiving
and forgiving each other.
7. The causes are general, and can actually be explained in more detail. However, if you
observe the disputes that have occurred recently, especially in Indonesian society, you
can identify at least one of the factors mentioned above. We can only hope that conflict
will be managed and resolved effectively if we are aware of its root causes. (Susilowati
and Susanto 2021)
Sadarjoen categorizes the types or forms of marital conflict as follows:
a) Zero Sum and Motive Conflict. In a conflict, it is unusual for both parties to lose, this is
called zero sum. Meanwhile, motive conflict occurs because one partner hopes to gain
more benefits than what their partner provides, but they do not hope to completely
eliminate their partner as an opponent.
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b) Personality Based and Situational Conflict . Marital conflict is often caused by situational
conflict and conflict based on personality differences. It is best for husbands and wives
to understand each other's needs and give each other opportunities to do other activities.
c) Basic and Non-Basic Conflict. Conflict that occurs as a result of situational changes is
called non-basic conflict. However, if the conflict originates from the hopes of a husband
and wife in sexual and economic matters, it is called a basic conflict.
d) Conflict is inevitable. The human desire which tends to obtain the maximum possible
benefit and with the minimum possible cost will give rise to inevitable conflict in a social
relationship such as marriage (Asy'ari 2017).
Application of Wahdatul 'Ulum in Resolving Family Conflict
Family conflict in this research is related to the lack of effective communication between
husband and wife when both are busy working, as well as the lack of knowledge and patience
applied in the household. Therefore, using the wahdatul 'ulum approach can be a smart solution
in overcoming domestic conflicts that occur. Wahdatul 'ulum, which literally means "unity of
knowledge", is a concept in Islam that emphasizes the integration of religious knowledge and
general knowledge. The application of this concept in the context of overcoming family conflict
can be done using a transdisciplinary approach, which is an approach that does not just use one
or a few perspectives, but uses many scientific perspectives that cross scientific disciplinary
boundaries, to create a holistic approach. This holistic approach includes spiritual, emotional and
rational aspects (Ritonga 2022:746) The following are several ways to apply wahdatul in dealing
with family conflicts.
a. Spiritual approach
Spiritual comes from the word spirit which means spirit, soul. This means that
spirituality is everything that is related to the soul, spirit, or mind. Inner, something invisible
that is located in the heart, essentially something that concerns the soul (Pujiastuti et al.
2014:368). In overcoming family conflicts, a person can strengthen his faith and piety. Such
as performing congregational prayers and attending recitations which can help to create an
environment full of positive values and togetherness. Apart from that, it can also be done by
teaching Islamic moral values. According to Imam Al-Ghazali, morals are traits embedded
in the human soul that can carry out actions and are easy to carry out without requiring
careful thought and consideration. Good morals can be ingrained in oneself due to
habituation and practice (Susiatik and Sholichah 2021:21). For example, resolving family
conflicts can be done by educating family members about the importance of noble morals,
such as patience, forgiveness and mutual respect. These values can be a strong basis for
resolving conflicts in a wise and peaceful way.
b. Emotional Approach
An emotional approach that can be taken is effective communication.
Communication is the main key in solving problems. Effective communication is the ability
to convey messages clearly and precisely so that they can be understood by other parties. In
the context of family conflict, effective communication can help family members understand
each other and resolve differences of opinion or interest. Communication is indeed an
important foundation in the problem solving process. The ability to communicate effectively
has broad implications in the context of human interaction (Gottman and Silver 1999).
Effective communication involves more than just getting the words out; it involves the
ability to convey messages clearly, orderly, and meaningfully, so that the recipient of the
message can understand them correctly. It also involves the ability to listen actively and
respond appropriately.
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With the ability to communicate effectively, family members can better understand
the causes of conflict and find appropriate solutions. Effective communication makes it
possible to resolve misunderstandings before they escalate into more serious conflicts, and
it creates opportunities to talk openly and honestly about each other's feelings and needs. In
a positive communicative environment, family members can work together to find solutions
that satisfy all parties, reducing friction and developing a deeper understanding of each
other. In order to strengthen relationships and maintain family harmony, investing in
developing effective communication skills is essential. Through open communication,
family members can build mutual trust, listen attentively, and develop resolutions that
respect the interests of all parties. Thus, effective communication plays a central role in
facilitating understanding, problem solving, and ultimately, maintaining healthy
relationships within the family.
c. Rational Approach
Rational is the ability to think logically, objectively and systematically. Rational
people tend to use common sense and logic in considering information, making decisions,
and solving problems. One thing that can be done to resolve family conflict is to educate
family members about conflict resolution techniques based on scientific research, such as
mediation, negotiation and compromise.
Mediation is the process of involving a third party in resolving a dispute as an
advisor. In mediation, dispute resolution arises more from the wishes and initiative of the
parties, so that the mediator plays a role in helping to reach agreements (Abbas 2009:6).
Apart from that, Compromise is a way to resolve conflict by mutual give and take. In the
context of family conflict, compromise can help family members to find a solution that is
acceptable to all parties and improve family relationships. Compromise is an approach that
involves the willingness of each family member to give and take, with the aim of reaching
a resolution that satisfies all parties involved. Meanwhile, negotiation is one of the dispute
resolution strategies, where the parties agree to resolve the problem through a process of
deliberation, negotiations or deliberation (Abbas 2009:9).
By integrating spiritual, emotional and rational approaches, wahdatul 'ulum can
create harmony in the family and help resolve conflicts in a constructive and peaceful way.
Apart from that, in the Qur'an there are also solutions to overcome problems that occur in
the household, namely by providing guidance and guidance to individuals. The solution is;
a. Problem Solving Al-Qur'an Counseling for Family Conflict
Al-Quran counseling is one of the Islamic counseling models which is the most
effective solution for solving problems. ( Problem solving ). According to AdzDzaky, the
Qur'an is a source of instruction for anyone who seeks guidance on how to develop their
intellectual potential, soul, faith and belief, as well as how to handle life's challenges
effectively and correctly (Mansyur, 2017). This study differentiates Al-Qur'an
consultation from Al-Qur'an reading therapy. The Qur'an in practice recommends
subjects (clients) to read the Qur'an, especially surahs or verses related to healing therapy
so that patients (clients) first purify their souls and use their intuition (dzauq) to interact
(read, study and understand) random verses of the Koran until they find these verses as a
solution to their problems. The Qur'an itself, when explaining conflict in the household,
uses the word syiqaq which is only mentioned once, namely in the QS. an-Nisa'/04: 35.
ً
رْي
ِ
بَخ
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Meaning: If you (the guardians) are worried that there will be a dispute between
the two, send a peacemaker from the man's family and a peacemaker from
the woman's family. If both of them intend to make islah (peace), Allah
will surely give taufik to both of them. Indeed, Allah is All-Knowing, All-
Compliant.
According to Ibn 'Assyria, this verse is the final situation that exists between
husband and wife, namely the situation of disputes from quarrels, anger, disobedience
and the like which are part of the causes of disputes, namely apart from the wife's
disobedience. (wa al-Tanwir, 1984). The verse above is connected to the previous verse,
namely QS. al-Nisa'/04: 34 ;
It means; “Men (husbands) are responsible for women (wives) because Allah has
preferred some of them (men) over others (women) and because they
(men) have spent part of their wealth. Pious women are those who are
obedient (to Allah) and take care of themselves when (their husbands) are
not around because Allah has taken care of (them). Women who you are
worried about nusyuz, give them advice, leave them in bed (separate beds),
and (if necessary), hit them (in a way that doesn't hurt). However, if they
obey you, do not look for ways to trouble them. Indeed, Allah is Most
High, Most Great. "
According to the Qur'an, there are six fundamental reasons for the value of advice:
First, Allah directs humans, who are Allah's creation. Indeed, Allah knows the secrets of
His creation. Hasbi believes that it is impossible to create humans only through
experience and without the guidance of the Creator. Second , information is needed to
help create and answer all the questions humans ask in the Qur'an. Third , the direction
of humanity is a guide for each individual and also a law for everyone. It contains
practical guidance for every individual in his relationship with God, his family, his
Muslim friends, his environment, and non- Muslims who are either at peace or at war
with themselves. You will definitely be safe in this world and the hereafter if you follow
this guide. Fourth , the Al-Qur'an is a holy book whose authenticity is guaranteed by
Allah SWT and can be easily understood by those who want to understand it. its position
as the main and main source of all Islamic teachings, and functions as a guide for humans
to achieve happiness in this world and the hereafter. Sixth, to guide humans, it is
necessary to hold on to true and solid references. Allah SWT is the most correct and solid
reference source.
But the Qur'an is a way of life that provides a clear path for humans. The Qur'an
is a guide for pious people and also for humanity as a whole. This is mentioned in the
Qur'an surah Al-Baqarah verse 185. Qardhawi said that because the Qur'an summarizes
many truths and provides many explanations on various issues, people will realize how
useful the Qur'an is for humans. According to him, the Koran is actually a source of
solutions to all problems faced by humans (Azani et al., 2022).
b. The Influence of Al-Qur'an Counseling on Problem Solving
The stages of Al-Qur'an counseling use a Sufi psychological approach which is
carried out with the following steps: (Mansyur, 2017). The first step is introduction and
fostering a good relationship between the mentor and the subject (client). The second step
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is that the subject (client) reveals the problems faced and the impacts caused by these
problems. The third step is for the mentor to direct the subject (client) to carry out the Al-
Qur'an counseling process, which consists of six stages:
1) Perform ablution to purify yourself physically and mentally
2) Have the intention and pray to ask Allah SWT for guidance through the Qur'an
regarding the problem.
3) Start opening the Koran based on your conscience (only open once randomly)
4) Read the Al-Qur'an by reading and paying attention to the translation verse by
verse on the pages of the Al-Qur'an that have been opened randomly, starting from
the right page to the left. This is where the interaction of taste and ratio is carried
out thoroughly to obtain clues.
5) Activating intuition (dzauq), namely revealing the implied meaning of truth
behind the verses of the Qur'an as a solution to the problems faced.
6) Obtaining guidance (guidance) is guidance given by Allah SWT through the
Qur'an. At this stage, the deepest inner heart (lubb) functions as the source of the
birth of intuition (dzauq). This intuition is connected to tawhid, or faith in Allah
SWT, so that they can find and understand the verses of the Koran that were
opened accidentally as a way out or solution to the problems they face. Fourth,
clients share opinions with mentors about their spiritual experiences when
interacting with the Koran. Mentors help strengthen and direct clients' experiences
and understanding.
4. Conclusion
In the family, the term conflict is never free, which results in disputes that are difficult
to reconcile with the situation. Conflict resolution can be done by playing on the unity of
knowledge known as wahdatul 'ulum, where the role of wahdatul 'ulum is very important in
resolving a problem, by using a transdisciplinary approach, namely a concept that is not only
based on one scientific perspective, but from various perspectives so that creating a holistic
approach, namely an approach that leads to spiritual, emotional and rational aspects that can be
used to solve a problem. Not only that, if we talk about the concept of the Al-Qur'an, Al-Qur'an
counseling is also an effective solution to overcome the problems that occur. So by
implementing this, you can form a family that is harmonious and peaceful so that it is far from
conflict and strife.
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